After observing how Maddie is with Julia, i began to worry about the so-called terrible twos. They say all children go through that stage. Hitting, attention-seeking, tantrums and meltdowns etc. Hopefully I can learn how to manage this stage earlier before it even strikes. Here are some articles I found helpful :)
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Hitting, scratching, and biting are common toddler behaviors, but that may not be much comfort when your toddler starts terrorizing his playmates — or you. A combination of still-emerging language skills, a fierce desire to become independent, and undeveloped impulse control is usually the cause of the trouble. As your toddler matures, he'll eventually learn to express his frustration with words.
The age of the child (in years) = the number of minutes he can be kept on time out.
For example a 3 year old child should only be on time out for 3 minutes maximum.
You should never, under any circumstances, hit your child to teach him a lesson. Some parents do this to show the child "how it feels," thinking that if their child feels hurt, he'll be reluctant to hurt others. Unfortunately, the tactic usually has the opposite effect. If you hit your child (or let others hit your child), it sends the message that hitting is okay.
ATTENTION SEEKING KIDS
It's normal for children to need attention and approval. However, attention-seeking becomes a problem when it happens all the time. Even charming attention-seeking can become controlling. Many children make tragedies out of trivial concerns to get your sympathy. Excessive attention-seeking results in a situation where your child commands your life.
Many children misbehave to get attention. The most notorious reason for misbehavior in young children, this can be the seed for discipline problems in later childhood and adolescence.
Your goal is not to eliminate your child's need for attention and approval. When handled correctly, your child's need for attention can be a helpful tool for improving your child's behavior. Eliminate not the need for attention, but those attention- seeking behaviors that are excessive or unacceptable.
How Much Attention Is Too Much?
That depends on you. How much attention-seeking can you tolerate? The rule is that children will seek as much attention as you give them. You must strike a balance between how much your children want and how much you can give. Even normal attention-seeking can drive you crazy on some days.
Do not let your children's need for attention turn into demands for attention. When children do not get enough attention, they resort to outbursts, tantrums, nagging, teasing, and other annoying behaviors.
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DISCIPLINING YOUR TODDLER
Your child is at a very precious age; your son or daughter is learning how to talk, telling you what they want for dinner—and hitting their younger, defenseless sibling on a pretty regular basis. How do you address this type of behavior, while still celebrating all the wonderful things come with being the proud parent of a toddler? How do you let your son or daughter know that you love him or her, but can’t always support their behavior?
Address the action, not the child.
When you’re disciplining your child, make sure your son or daughter knows that you’re trying to get them to discontinue negative behavior, and that you aren’t devaluing them. Even though toddlers are young, they are more in touch with their feelings than adults can tell. Just because your young son or daughter can’t articulate their feelings all that well yet, they do know when they feel attacked, and are likely to continue acting out if your approach is wrong.
For instance, when you see your toddler hitting other children or refusing to share, pull him or her to the side and explain that what they’re doing isn’t nice. This is different from saying “You’re being bad” or “You’re a mean boy/girl.” Instead, tell your toddler that it’s important to be nice to friends, and that sharing is the right thing to do. The toddler years are also a good time to introduce the Golden Rule. One of the best ways to teach your children a lesson on sharing or good social behavior is to convey that you shouldn’t do something to someone that you don’t want them to do to you.
Ask your children questions like “Don’t you like it when your friends share with you?” or “When your friends are nice to you and don’t hit you, doesn’t that make you feel good?” If your toddlers can tell in your tone that you are reprimanding their actions, but still love them, they are less likely to continue the negative behavior.
Aside from Maddie, my niece Mia who is just a few months older and our neighbor's daughter Hopey who is 2 years old are Julia's regular playmates and both girls are usually passive in play while Julia seems to be the more aggressive one. But nevertheless, she's a fun kid to be around :) If she ever does go through the terrible twos stage, i hope she won't be that terrible :) Medyo lang.
1 comments:
yeah...maddie changed. she used to be ok with just taking things from julia and not sharing. now she wants to run julia over with the walker and push her around. grrrrr. i think maddie's frustrated cause she can't really "play" and be rough with julia. that and she's the jealous type. =P hopefully maddie grows out of it soon. Ü
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